The first lesson I learnt very quickly in marriage was that it has great joyful moments but there were also great challenges. However it is these challenges that make our union strong. How my hubby and I deal with these challenges is what counts. What doesn’t break us only makes us stronger.
When a husband and wife live a kingdom focused marriage (forever lasting) instead of contractual terms,(time dependent) they will receive a covering. It’s like an umbrella. When it’s raining, the umbrella doesn’t stop the rain, the umbrella protects you from the rain and stops it from raining on you.
In the same way living under God’s covering won’t stop the challenges in your marriage, but those challenges won’t affect you same way they normally would if you weren’t underneath His covering.
“Therefore, obey the terms of this covenant so that you will prosper in everything you do. Deuteronomy 29:9
Another very important aspect of marriage I have learnt is unity. Unity not meaning sameness or uniformity. Therefore unity does not mean that I should be just like my spouse but rather, unity meaning having a shared purpose, vision or direction. This was the very thing that attracted me to my husband, as we shared the same vision. The same goals for our family. We shared common grounds in terms of our God given purpose.
God doesn’t call us to lose our uniqueness as an individual when we get married. However, a healthy marriage is where the presence and work of God’s Spirit goes beyond our individual differences. This is unity, and unity is built from a shared commitment to defeat a common enemy and leave in your God given purpose. This principle must be understood, accepted and continually sought after if a marriage is to truly experience victory.
“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” — Proverbs 27:17
It’s easy to become complacent in our walk with Christ. However God has given us a spouse to encourage us and help us become more like Him.
A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12
Communication in marriage is the life-giver of a relationship. I struggled with this at first. Bottled a lot of things up because i didn’t want to seem a like a burden. Felt like i didn’t need help. Fearful of showing my emotions. But communicating openly and honesty is key to a successful marriage.
Great communication begins with God, the Perfecter of all communication.
Ears that hear and eyes that see — the LORD has made them both. Proverbs 20:12
We need to beware of the power of our words, both for healing and for hurting.
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21
Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16: 24
Another lesson in marriage is Your marriage must be built to outlast your children!!!!! Meaning don’t allow your children to take away the romance from your marriage.
It is vital for us as a married couple with children to make an effort to have time alone with each other.
Date nights are key! Yes finding a babysitter when you have two kids under 6 can be a task, but finding that alone time is worth it! Keep those intimacy flames burning!!!🔥🔥❤🔥🔥
Written by Naa (Freewoman)
2 thoughts on “What I’ve learnt since being married (Part 1)”
I love your writing. There are some ups and downs in relations. we have to manage it in a careful way.
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You are right! God bless you 😊